To The FemmeMobile! Away!











{October 14, 2009}   Realizations 3!

First, I’d just like to say that Ivan E. Coyote (no, I don’t know why Ivan has three pages. Roll with it.) is an amazing author. Ivan writes slice of life stories, sometimes about trans/butch/lesbian things, sometimes just about life things. They are amazing, and continually make me tear up. Go read.
After inhaling everything Ivan and everything Sugarbutch and following their links to everything else I could find, I decided I really ought to find some femme stuff so that I can understand this a little better. I most definitely fall under the “lo-femme” category: some of the ultra-girl stuff makes me laugh, and I am just not that helpless (sometimes, “need to be rescued” definitely mixes in there in what I read. And just… no.). But I do resonate with a lot of it, and lacking the Femmes of Power book that keeps getting recced to me, I decided I should find maybe some femme bloggers.
I found one. It was mostly sex, so I left. I haven’t found another one. Or at least not another sane one. I find it very interesting that I’ve learned more about femmes and the femme/butch dynamic from butches than I have from femmes. I HAVE THEORIES. I shared them with DK, but I’m too tired to re-type them out. Sorry. >.< But it has to do with masculine energy!

…oh, okay. We all know I can’t stay away from theories. πŸ˜€ There’s been all sorts of semi-studies that show the males of our species do things to attract attention from the pickier women (ie, all women). Men are more likely to go into careers that are showy: blogging, writing, music — anything attention grabbing. (These are semi-studies because it gets tangled up in what we’ve been taught as a society, but they seem to hold true — somewhat — worldwide, so… They are SERIOUSLY FLAWED in that it doesn’t take into account male privilege.) It makes sense to me then that women who identify as more masculine are more likely to step out and say, “Hey! Look at me! I am doing stuff!” Ergo, more stuff on butches because butch women are writing it, and they are more masculine. That’s really it. Nothing exciting, and only my little personal theory. (*edit: It is now four months later, and I’ve found awesome femme bloggers — see sidebar — but do find that sex/gender theory comes mostly from butch bloggers. My NEW theory is that it’s because butch bloggers have to be very aware of how they’re warping gender, whereas femmes are only slightly changing what society teaches us. We don’t have to think about whether we’re going to shop in the men’s or women’s section, and when we shop in the women’s section no one asks us to defend our choice. Make sense?) End edit!*

Back to my point! Did I have a point? Possibly not. I was looking for femme stuff and failing! Right. Anyway, I found this video on QueerSighted (which is kind of an awesome website) and it KILLED ME WITH LAUGH. So I share. πŸ˜€

And here is Ivan, reading an excerpt from a book Ivan wrote and talking about packing (NOT THE KIND WITH CLOTHES. Well. There are socks mentioned. >.>). It also killed me with laugh. (Uh. Most of Ivan’s articles are not about packing. In fact, most of them aren’t about Ivan’s romantic/sexual life at all, so it was extra hilarious to find this. Most of them are about small town things, or when Ivan’s house burned down. >.<)

I also found a hilarious quiz to see if you’re femme or butch, and was both surprised and not to come out as neither, as androgynous. The questions were really heavily culturally based as opposed to mental/attitude based, and I can tell you right now I’m not a girly girl when it comes to taking care of myself, and I’m pretty practical, so… What made me laugh was that when I read the (many) comments, all but two people got androgyny. I think it’s safe to say the test is flawed.

Other than that… I need to go to bed. Tomorrow I may go buy Femmes of Power. I have a 30% off coupon. πŸ˜€

J

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