To The FemmeMobile! Away!











{November 16, 2009}   Time…

I have femme thoughts I need to write down. At some point. Some things on Femmes of Power, where it took me, what happened in my head then, and where I’m at now. In my blog post earlier, I said, and I might not be like other femmes, but I like them for who they are and we all bring our own unique perspective to it. and in writing that, I had this sudden realization that me making sure I fit as a femme had come from all sorts of weirdness in my head. The excuse I was telling myself was that I didn’t want to step on toes: I didn’t want to say, “I’m femme,” and then later find out I’m not. It feels like claiming a minority — like dressing up as a Native American for Halloween. Seems harmless enough, but it hurts Native Americans.

Anyway, I didn’t want to do that. That was my excuse, and I truly believed it, but when I wrote the above I realized that me being unsure about femme, me needing definitions and a label so badly, didn’t have to do with trying not to step on toes. It had to do with being afraid that I would be wrong. That I would do it wrong. As long as I was unsure, if anyone disagreed with me I could say, “Oh, well, I’m not positive…” And that’s not cool.

So! Here’s to growing up, taking responsibility, and knowing myself. I’m femme. Some day, hopefully some day soon, I’m going to write what that means to me. I’d like to write about the femmes I’ve seen, and how I don’t feel that way. I have a veritable essay on the difference between overt femmes and femmes like me — not overtly femme, but with so many of the habits/reactions to butch women/tendencies I see described when I read about femmes with butches, as opposed to femmes on their own. I’m not explaining it well, but that’s okay. There’s an essay coming. And hopefully a blog on which to put all this on, split with DK. 😀

…As soon as I find the time. Ye, gods. *headdesk*

J

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