To The FemmeMobile! Away!

{May 21, 2010}   Describing butch bodies

I was gone all day yesterday (I spent the night at Q’s, and a friend let my dogs out in the morning for me, and then I didn’t get home until 8:30pm), and the dogs were bouncing off the walls when I returned last night. I let them out to play, and today took them running (and for a dog wash) but Cash is STILL over-energetic. I just let them out to run again and he’s running laps around the back area, all on his own. It’s hilarious.

Anyway, that’s neither here nor there in regards to what I wanted to write about (I just had to share). What I wanted to write about is blogging and butch bodies. “Mwah?” I hear you cry. No, really. It makes sense in a twisty, JB sort of way.

See, the butch I dated before is DK, and she reads this blog. The butch I’m dating now is Q, and she reads this blog, too. My blogs are for me, and the people who read them (mostly) know that I use them as a sort of journaling system to work through problems, clear my head, etc. Their function as a way to keep in touch with friends is VERY secondary. When Q started reading my blog, she double (and triple) checked with me. She didn’t want me feeling like I needed to censor what I wrote because I knew she was reading it, and she was willing to stop reading it. I told her not to worry about it; after years of practice, I’m pretty good at writing what I need to write (and if I don’t want someone to see something, I lock it!).

The only time it does become a little bit tricky is, for instance, when writing about those people. Now, again, in general I still don’t have a problem. To be honest, for the most part I feel like I shouldn’t write something down that I wouldn’t say to someone’s face — the notable exception to that being when I know it’s MY problem, not theirs, or I really need to blow off steam. This is why I’m pretty much okay with people reading my blog: anything I say here, I’d be willing to say to them. (There are exceptions, but that’s a whole other blog post that doesn’t belong here, anyway!) My problem comes mostly in the form of language. Let me say this now: I love butch bodies. I don’t think that’s in doubt. ;-D DK and Q have very different butch bodies. DK is tall (5’10 or something like that) and has a slightly northern European build: broad hands, broad shoulders, broad back, fair skin, blue eyes, very blond, large bone structure. Q is sort of the opposite: 5;6, with a very triangular body (broad shoulders, narrow hips) (she says she got it by building up shoulder muscles, but to some extent I suspect it’s at least a little biological: if I built up my shoulder and back muscles, I STILL wouldn’t be that broad shouldered). She’s broader than I am, bigger than I am in part just by how she carries herself. Partly because I have a very delicate bone structure, so most people are a little bit bigger than me, even when they’re my height or shorter. Q is also dark: really dark eyes, really dark hair.

One of the things I love/d about both their bodies — butch bodies in general — is the incongruence of them. Broad shoulders, strong arms, breasts. But, see, this is where the English language starts to fail me. ‘Chest’ is the word most often used instead, and while most of the time that works (as in, “Hmm, I love your chest.” “Can I fondle your chest?”) sometimes it doesn’t. The other day I used “curves,” which, even as I typed it, felt wrong. (Especially since, unbound and undressed, I could say DK has curves, but I really can’t say Q has curves. Q’s chest is built up and she’s pretty flat, so it really does look a lot like pecs.) But what do I call it? To Q’s face I say ‘chest’ or nothing at all, but the truth is I love that smidge of softness on that really hard body. I loved DK’s hands because they were soft — she was too busy in uni to be playing sports or anything else that would make callouses, and they were just awesome, specifically because the rest of her was so masculine.

In person, this struggle with words is easier. I can appreciate these more uncertain areas of the butch body by look and touch and indication. But that isn’t possible when blogging, and yet I want to be extra careful not to make my important people uncomfortable. (This whole post might make them uncomfortable, really, but I think they can both roll with it. Plus, y’know, it’s my blog where I hash out thoughts, ideas, problems, etc. and they’re respectful of that. ;-D)

There need to be more words, really. That’s the crux of the problem. Male words work most of the time, but occasionally not. Female words rarely feel right. Maybe they would with other butches, I don’t know. I might use the word ‘breast’ to describe Nezu‘s chest area, but as she travels down the butch path that might change. And, again, in their presence it’s easier; body language and touch and the way people move tell me if I can mention it at all (Sometimes Q is okay with me petting her chest and sometimes she’s not, and as I get to know her better it’s becoming pretty easy to tell which is when just by body language and reactions) and if I do, it’s easy to decide on words and phrases and movements. But devoid of that, typing onto a screen, I find myself fumbling along trying to find the right words. They just don’t fit, do they? It is a conundrum, especially for a writerly type like me. I want to write a description so a reader can picture it, but if I don’t have the words, and the sort-of accurate ones are uncomfortable… Hmmm. I read other peoples’ descriptions of butches with an eye toward knowing that language is inaccurate and I should form the picture they’re painting with that in mind. But being on the writing end of it (and being a perfectionist) makes me a little more frustrated. I suppose I just need to assume people reading (including the butches I talk about) will take that in stride, too. If anyone knows about inaccurate language, it’s them. 😉

But you know what? Wow, I like butch bodies. They’re hot. 😀



So true!they are soooo yummy…lol!

But anyhow , I stumbled upon your site and I looooove it so far!Can’t wait for more!

JB says:

*grins* So, so true. Mmmm. Butch bodies. ;-D

Thank you! 😀

G says:

If it makes you feel any better, I have a conundrum sometimes describing my own body. But I certainly prefer more masculine terms – “chest” or “pecs” to “breasts,” even though technically there are curves there. And I actually like to be touched in more masculine ways on my pectoral muscles versus breast area, on my biceps, etc. It just feels better, and it matches my energy.

And at the end of the day, I’m glad there are women out there who dig bitch bodies.

JB says:

There are certainly no broad answers, I’m rapidly learning. 😉

*grins* And we definitely do. Even if the language used for butch bodies is, uh, challenging. ;-D


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