To The FemmeMobile! Away!











{September 30, 2010}   And now for something a little different: Sex!

For those who don’t want to know the nitty gritties of my sex life… πŸ˜‰ (As if I ever give that much detail! Ha!)

So, last night Q and I (okay, mostly me) popped the buttons off my skirt. >.> Luckily, I can buy more, and it was TOTALLY WORTH IT. πŸ˜€

The other day Q called me and said, “You know, I was thinking about having sex with you on the hood of my car. I’ve never had sex on the hood of my car, before.”

Well, I’d never had sex on the hood of a car, either! So it was decided: we were going to have sex on the hood of her car. Turns out this is NOT as easy as it looks. It really didn’t work well at all. I couldn’t get a purchase with my foot, and the angle was a little off. Plus, trying to thrust seemed… difficult. Possibly this would work better on my car, with the flatter hood, but that one sits lower and I’m not sure… well, I think Q would have to bend her knees a lot. *laughs*

But anyway, my point is that Q had an idea, and we did it. I’m telling you, sex is so much more fun than it’s been before. And to make it better for me, Q’s awesome at noting when I’ve taken a forward leap and pointing it out to me — which is great, because I don’t always see it. The other night, I gave pretty clear directions — well, direction, no plural anyway — about what I needed. And I didn’t hesitate or feel awkward or even think about it, I juts did it! I didn’t even realize it until Q pointed it out. And the best part is the way she builds me up, then, telling me how proud she is and that, which makes me feel more confident and makes me better able to continue.

I also find that I’m becoming more daring. Yesterday, along with sex on the hood of the car, we had sex in a bathroom stall. And I went dancing — um, well, you don’t need to know about my wardrobe choices. Let’s just say it wasn’t a normal wardrobe choice, and leave it at that. πŸ˜€

Q said last night that we seem to have about the same levels of kink, and I think she’s right. I told her a while ago that I never thought I’d find someone with my level of sex drive, and now not only have I found that, but my level of kink, too. It’s really pretty awesome. πŸ˜€ We’ve been dating for seven months, now, and I swear the sex just keeps getting better. I still don’t always come, but now I can say when it’s not going to happen and just enjoy sex for sex.

I feel like I’m edging toward that inner sex fiend, the sexually powerful woman I always felt I had inside, but I’d covered her over with so many layers of Issues that I wondered if I’d ever really find her. I’m still not totally there, and I still have some Issues to deal with, but I feel so much closer. I’m much more comfortable in my body, and in talking with Q about what I need or want. I still hesitate before suggesting something, but more often than not I suggest after I’m done hesitating. (Actually… maybe not more often than not. It’s probably a 40/60 split, still. But that’s better than the 0/100 split that it was before!)

My hesitation usually comes down to the same basic fear, over and over: I’m afraid Q will be upset. (She’s never been upset.) That somehow, my needing something other than what she’s doing will indicate that she’s doing it wrong or not good enough, and I don’t want her to think that. (Below that fear is the fear that if she feels like she’s not doing it good enough she’ll feel bad and then she’ll leave.) Most of the time now, I can talk myself through that. Other times the fear is that whatever I want to suggest will be appalling, but again, I’m working through that, too. All the praise helps me remember that nothing I can do or say will appallΒ  Q. It might not appeal (uh… that hasn’t happened yet…) but it won’t appall.

Anyway, the progress report is good. I’m quite proud of myself. Still have things to work on, but who doesn’t? Nowadays, there’s not only light at the end of the tunnel, but I think I’m standing in it. πŸ˜€

J

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Q says:

Wow!! Am I allowed to comment on this? First off, re: sex on the hood of my car: in my defense, I DO currently have two torn tendons in my rotator cuff. That means that I can’t lift you or support you right now, when normally it wouldn’t be an issue. Angle was cumbersome though. We would’ve been really hosed had I waxed the car first. Anyhow, we should try again — your car; I can bend, and maybe wait till my shoulder heals so I can provide some extra, um, lift πŸ™‚

RE: doin’ it wrong: I am way too cocky in the sack to think I’m doing something “wrong” or “not good enough”, so no worries there. And I totally understand that different times, different people, different situations, even different energy levels require different techniques/touches/rhythm/etc…If you need to change it up, I’m all ears. I will not be discouraged in the least, or think less of either of us or our abilities. Quite the opposite, actually. I’m such a ‘pleaser’ that if you tell me exactly what you need, I’d jump on it in a flash just to see that Oh So Satisfied look on your face. And this can often be accomplished by a gentle whisper of one word in the moment (left, right, harder, faster, slower, softer, deeper, lower, etc….) — I’ll get the message if you can’t make a full sentence. And I LOVE challenging you. Grrrr.

RE: Inner sex fiend — BRING IT!! You’re doing awesome and I’m loving it.



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