To The FemmeMobile! Away!

{September 13, 2012}   …whoops.

Good god, why didn’t some TELL me I hadn’t updated this thing since June? shjgkskjsjl

Anyway. I’m back now! For at least… ten minutes. Shuddup. I’ve been thinking about you all, and reading blogs (even though I don’t update my own…) and thinking about things I want to put on here. Thing is, I feel like I’ve pretty much figured my queer shit out. At least to the level of satisfaction where I’m not needing to read and ponder and process anymore.

I did go looking for audiobooks on gender, trans, femme, butch — any of that other than Ivan Coyote’s stories, most of which I already own — and wasn’t successful. You’d think with all the books they’re making into audiobooks, there’d be SOMETHING on gender studies in general…

Anyway. In other news, I adopted a solider! I spent weeks wringing my hands over whether or not he was going to hate me at first read because I’m gay, then I spent MONTHS wringing my hands (despite the fact that my brain kept telling me that it really doesn’t matter what he thinks of me) because he’d stopped writing back as soon as I said I was gay. I’ve finally gotten over it, but it was a great surprise to me to realize how much it mattered. I mean, it’s a guy I’ve never met… who I will never meet… whose opinion really shouldn’t matter.

Goes to show how much society puts pressure on everyone, anyway. Gives me something new to work on. 😉

In more-other news, I went to visit my uncle! Things have been strained with him since I came out, and I had anxiety dreams before I went, but he seems to have come around. He asked when I was getting married (a. I have no plans to do so and b. legally I can’t — which he was shocked to hear), how was Q, would we both like to come visit, etc. He was, in short, his usual self, and it was wonderful. YAY!

…And speaking of Q, I need to go pick up kids from school. Which is terrifyingly domestic. o.O



😦 That would hurt my feelings, too.

JB says:

Thing is, I don’t even know if it’s because I’m gay, or if it’s coincidence! I know he’s somewhere with lots of fighting going on, so for all I know he’s in the field, been injured, or dead. (They’re supposed to tell you if that happens, but…) So really, I’m making up stories instead of working with reality. 😉


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